Thursday, January 11, 2018

You do not Appreciate what you have, till it's Gone

It has been a year in O&G department, and I would say that I really enjoy the posting. I am now a permanent medical officer in O&G department. Still learning and striving.

It has always been my dream to take up surgery posting, ever since I was in 3rd year of medical school. However, after entering O&G department as my second posting, and surgical posting as my third posting, my dream changed. I want to do O&G.

I do not know why, regardless how tired I am, I will always be contented whenever I saw a newborn. Cuddled them in my arms, I felt so comforted. Every life is a miracle! The newborn is a miracle. They are so pure.

I realized that I lost my interest in surgery after my medical officer gave me a chance to do an appendicectomy. After taking out the appendix, I do not feel excited. Furthermore, as surgery field covers a wide range of different types of surgeries, I don't think I am so enthusiastic to try up all of it and to pursue all of them. Also, in the surgical ward, most of the post-major operation patient is still quite ill, they were placed in the back cubicle. Most of them are bed-ridden. Unlike in obstetrics, the patient comes in healthy, deliver the baby and go back home with a smile. Although, this might not be seen in all cases. There's always an exception. Post TAHBSO patient, after chemo/radiotherapy, we will still see them walking into the clinic for surveillance. But in Gynecology, it also depends on what cancer the patient has. Of course, like surgical, not all come with good prognosis. I am going to gynecology ward soon next month, I guess I will start seeing those palliative cases. It is something that clinical doctors can't avoid. It is somehow a daily routine to see life and death, in our career. However, I wish to see them less in obstetrics and gynecology field. On the other hand, I do see people who are very into all kind of surgeries, and they are very passionate about it. I think those are the one who will enjoy surgical posting more. They can even go to the hospital middle of the night just to learn. I salute them. As for me, I have other priorities :)

There's a saying, "You do not appreciate what you have, till it's gone." I experienced it! A few days ago, I was diagnosed with a benign medical condition whereby I was advised to change my department. The specialist offered to write a letter to my superior. However, boldly I told the specialist that I do not want to change department as O&G is what I love and I want to do in my life. I never know how much I like O&G till a few days ago. :) 

I always thought that the more senior you are, the less nervous you will be every time we do the emergency cases. I am wrong. I have seen that even the senior medical officer will get nervous too. All the cases are different and you never know what is adhere down there and you need to be careful. And of course, your speed is taken into account as well! Besides surgery only, you got to learn many more skills i.e. vacuum-assisted delivery, forceps, assisted breech delivery and etc. This comes with experiences. But then again, regardless of what, all I want to hear each time is the cry of the baby after baby out. It gives me a big relief!

Till now, I am very grateful to a medical officer who messaged me the day after I left O&G posting during my housemanship period, asking me if I am interested in O&G or not  =) She is no longer here. Hope she is doing great in her life now over there.