我希望我不是医生，好想好想旅行。
Monday, June 25, 2018
Saturday, June 23, 2018
Sick and On-call
Sick and on-call, with a case of placental abruption ongoing monitoring, waiting for delivery, the next thing that comes into my mind is to quit. However, I believe this thought is just a temporary one.
Thank my family members and my beloved one, for supporting me in any way. This proves that family is not an important thing, but it's everything.
Thank you for the little dear one, who strives so hard to make it through. I always look forward to the joy of seeing you at the very first sight and congratulate your mother. Sometimes, I can see her tears of joy too.
At the end of the day, I can see that life is so beautiful. Everything happens in His time. Thank you, Lord.
18/6/2018， 4.34 am.
Thank you for the little dear one, who strives so hard to make it through. I always look forward to the joy of seeing you at the very first sight and congratulate your mother. Sometimes, I can see her tears of joy too.
At the end of the day, I can see that life is so beautiful. Everything happens in His time. Thank you, Lord.
18/6/2018， 4.34 am.
她知道她活不了多久了，但她却感谢我
最伤心的是，你知到她活不了多久了，她却告诉你，“医生，谢谢你安排我去古晋。我好高兴，我可以得到化疗。我也想像其她人一样生活。” 从一个即将去做一个”治标不治本的化疗，” 非常年轻的患者说的。
下一个病人，与她两位女儿解释关于“Do Not Resuscitate。” 她们哭了，对不起。
值班，不在于做多久或晚间你是否能不能休息，重要的是妈妈和宝宝们平安无事，这就够了。别无所求。这是值班后的小小喜乐！
很多人说要坚持，要勇敢，不要放弃！但，几个人知道放弃需要更大的勇气呢？
人。。。算什么。。。
Sorrow is when your patient said, "Terima kasih sebab tolong aturkan saya ke Kuching untuk Chemo. Tau tak saya pun mau hidup macam orang biasa. Terima kasih doktor. Saya sangat happy." Basically a patient thanking me for arranging her trip to Kuching for chemotherapy. This is from a young lady, my patient, who is going to Kuching soon for her palliative chemotherapy.
Moving on to the next patient, talked to the two daughters, explaining about DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). Their eyes went watery and red. I am sorry.
On-call is not about how long you worked or how long you can sleep and rest during the night time. What matter most is during the post-call, all the mothers and babies are safe, that's enough. Nothing else I will ask for. This is post-call little happiness.
A lot of the people say that you must be brave enough not to give up. But how many of them understand that you need a greater courage to give up?
What....is mankind...
9/5/18, 2.39am
下一个病人，与她两位女儿解释关于“Do Not Resuscitate。” 她们哭了，对不起。
值班，不在于做多久或晚间你是否能不能休息，重要的是妈妈和宝宝们平安无事，这就够了。别无所求。这是值班后的小小喜乐！
很多人说要坚持，要勇敢，不要放弃！但，几个人知道放弃需要更大的勇气呢？
人。。。算什么。。。
Sorrow is when your patient said, "Terima kasih sebab tolong aturkan saya ke Kuching untuk Chemo. Tau tak saya pun mau hidup macam orang biasa. Terima kasih doktor. Saya sangat happy." Basically a patient thanking me for arranging her trip to Kuching for chemotherapy. This is from a young lady, my patient, who is going to Kuching soon for her palliative chemotherapy.
Moving on to the next patient, talked to the two daughters, explaining about DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). Their eyes went watery and red. I am sorry.
On-call is not about how long you worked or how long you can sleep and rest during the night time. What matter most is during the post-call, all the mothers and babies are safe, that's enough. Nothing else I will ask for. This is post-call little happiness.
A lot of the people say that you must be brave enough not to give up. But how many of them understand that you need a greater courage to give up?
What....is mankind...
9/5/18, 2.39am
Thursday, January 11, 2018
You do not Appreciate what you have, till it's Gone
It has been a year in O&G department, and I would say that I really enjoy the posting. I am now a permanent medical officer in O&G department. Still learning and striving.
It has always been my dream to take up surgery posting, ever since I was in 3rd year of medical school. However, after entering O&G department as my second posting, and surgical posting as my third posting, my dream changed. I want to do O&G.
I do not know why, regardless how tired I am, I will always be contented whenever I saw a newborn. Cuddled them in my arms, I felt so comforted. Every life is a miracle! The newborn is a miracle. They are so pure.
I realized that I lost my interest in surgery after my medical officer gave me a chance to do an appendicectomy. After taking out the appendix, I do not feel excited. Furthermore, as surgery field covers a wide range of different types of surgeries, I don't think I am so enthusiastic to try up all of it and to pursue all of them. Also, in the surgical ward, most of the post-major operation patient is still quite ill, they were placed in the back cubicle. Most of them are bed-ridden. Unlike in obstetrics, the patient comes in healthy, deliver the baby and go back home with a smile. Although, this might not be seen in all cases. There's always an exception. Post TAHBSO patient, after chemo/radiotherapy, we will still see them walking into the clinic for surveillance. But in Gynecology, it also depends on what cancer the patient has. Of course, like surgical, not all come with good prognosis. I am going to gynecology ward soon next month, I guess I will start seeing those palliative cases. It is something that clinical doctors can't avoid. It is somehow a daily routine to see life and death, in our career. However, I wish to see them less in obstetrics and gynecology field. On the other hand, I do see people who are very into all kind of surgeries, and they are very passionate about it. I think those are the one who will enjoy surgical posting more. They can even go to the hospital middle of the night just to learn. I salute them. As for me, I have other priorities :)
There's a saying, "You do not appreciate what you have, till it's gone." I experienced it! A few days ago, I was diagnosed with a benign medical condition whereby I was advised to change my department. The specialist offered to write a letter to my superior. However, boldly I told the specialist that I do not want to change department as O&G is what I love and I want to do in my life. I never know how much I like O&G till a few days ago. :)
I always thought that the more senior you are, the less nervous you will be every time we do the emergency cases. I am wrong. I have seen that even the senior medical officer will get nervous too. All the cases are different and you never know what is adhere down there and you need to be careful. And of course, your speed is taken into account as well! Besides surgery only, you got to learn many more skills i.e. vacuum-assisted delivery, forceps, assisted breech delivery and etc. This comes with experiences. But then again, regardless of what, all I want to hear each time is the cry of the baby after baby out. It gives me a big relief!
Till now, I am very grateful to a medical officer who messaged me the day after I left O&G posting during my housemanship period, asking me if I am interested in O&G or not =) She is no longer here. Hope she is doing great in her life now over there.
It has always been my dream to take up surgery posting, ever since I was in 3rd year of medical school. However, after entering O&G department as my second posting, and surgical posting as my third posting, my dream changed. I want to do O&G.
I do not know why, regardless how tired I am, I will always be contented whenever I saw a newborn. Cuddled them in my arms, I felt so comforted. Every life is a miracle! The newborn is a miracle. They are so pure.
I realized that I lost my interest in surgery after my medical officer gave me a chance to do an appendicectomy. After taking out the appendix, I do not feel excited. Furthermore, as surgery field covers a wide range of different types of surgeries, I don't think I am so enthusiastic to try up all of it and to pursue all of them. Also, in the surgical ward, most of the post-major operation patient is still quite ill, they were placed in the back cubicle. Most of them are bed-ridden. Unlike in obstetrics, the patient comes in healthy, deliver the baby and go back home with a smile. Although, this might not be seen in all cases. There's always an exception. Post TAHBSO patient, after chemo/radiotherapy, we will still see them walking into the clinic for surveillance. But in Gynecology, it also depends on what cancer the patient has. Of course, like surgical, not all come with good prognosis. I am going to gynecology ward soon next month, I guess I will start seeing those palliative cases. It is something that clinical doctors can't avoid. It is somehow a daily routine to see life and death, in our career. However, I wish to see them less in obstetrics and gynecology field. On the other hand, I do see people who are very into all kind of surgeries, and they are very passionate about it. I think those are the one who will enjoy surgical posting more. They can even go to the hospital middle of the night just to learn. I salute them. As for me, I have other priorities :)
There's a saying, "You do not appreciate what you have, till it's gone." I experienced it! A few days ago, I was diagnosed with a benign medical condition whereby I was advised to change my department. The specialist offered to write a letter to my superior. However, boldly I told the specialist that I do not want to change department as O&G is what I love and I want to do in my life. I never know how much I like O&G till a few days ago. :)
I always thought that the more senior you are, the less nervous you will be every time we do the emergency cases. I am wrong. I have seen that even the senior medical officer will get nervous too. All the cases are different and you never know what is adhere down there and you need to be careful. And of course, your speed is taken into account as well! Besides surgery only, you got to learn many more skills i.e. vacuum-assisted delivery, forceps, assisted breech delivery and etc. This comes with experiences. But then again, regardless of what, all I want to hear each time is the cry of the baby after baby out. It gives me a big relief!
Till now, I am very grateful to a medical officer who messaged me the day after I left O&G posting during my housemanship period, asking me if I am interested in O&G or not =) She is no longer here. Hope she is doing great in her life now over there.
Saturday, April 22, 2017
Born in ambulance
I think most of my oncalls were busy. Last night's oncall was no exception! One of my colleague wanted the call but we ended up oncall together. Thankfully, gratefully.
As usual, we started our work at around 8 am, somehow we came earlier a bit to review patients. Morning, it was rather cool and chill. In the afternoon, labour room started to warm up and finally it was heated up at night time and early in the morning at 1 am to 4. Referrals coming in from Mukah, Kanowit, Dalat, Selangau and etc. Emergencies also happened without a single warning sign and therefore we can never tell the anaes team that, when to standby for what.
At around 3 something, I was so fatigue, yet there are still cases due seen by me. Then, patient from KK Selangau reached, was told by the escorting medical assistant that patient delivered on the ambulance. They were short of the staff and hence requested one of our staff to bring the newborn in. As busy as the war zone, we are short of staff too and after wearing a pair of gloves, I went out to receive the newborn. I was shocked to see the condition in the ambulance, with bloods everywhere and liquor splashing on the linen and in the ambulance. I saw the patient and a nurse with a blood stained apron and glove on her. It was a touching moment to receive the newborn and to see the undesirable condition in the ambulance. I guess it would be a difficult situation for the midwife to conduct the delivery in the ambulance with Malaysia well-known bumpy roads. Thumbs up for them! The cute, little crying newborn almost bring me to tears, it was just so pure! Indescribable. And I will say this is the best moment of what I am doing at my workplace everyday.
When I was just about to leave the labour room at around 6 am to antenatal ward to prepare the patients for induction of labour, one of the patient's husband stopped me at the exit door and asked why it takes so long for the wife to be in the labour room after delivery, with raised voice and firm tone.
I replied, "Uncle, it was very busy for all of us since 1 am to now, and that is why the transfer of the post delivery mothers to the postnatal ward a bit delayed."
Uncle: "My time is very urgent."
Me: "....." Too tired to explain further so I went back into the labour room and took a look at her wife in the labour room. Good thing was, I have another colleague who helped me with the patients in the antenatal ward. I will only say, different people, different attitude.
That was a roundup for my oncall yesterday. Full of emotions, and sleepless call.
As usual, we started our work at around 8 am, somehow we came earlier a bit to review patients. Morning, it was rather cool and chill. In the afternoon, labour room started to warm up and finally it was heated up at night time and early in the morning at 1 am to 4. Referrals coming in from Mukah, Kanowit, Dalat, Selangau and etc. Emergencies also happened without a single warning sign and therefore we can never tell the anaes team that, when to standby for what.
At around 3 something, I was so fatigue, yet there are still cases due seen by me. Then, patient from KK Selangau reached, was told by the escorting medical assistant that patient delivered on the ambulance. They were short of the staff and hence requested one of our staff to bring the newborn in. As busy as the war zone, we are short of staff too and after wearing a pair of gloves, I went out to receive the newborn. I was shocked to see the condition in the ambulance, with bloods everywhere and liquor splashing on the linen and in the ambulance. I saw the patient and a nurse with a blood stained apron and glove on her. It was a touching moment to receive the newborn and to see the undesirable condition in the ambulance. I guess it would be a difficult situation for the midwife to conduct the delivery in the ambulance with Malaysia well-known bumpy roads. Thumbs up for them! The cute, little crying newborn almost bring me to tears, it was just so pure! Indescribable. And I will say this is the best moment of what I am doing at my workplace everyday.
When I was just about to leave the labour room at around 6 am to antenatal ward to prepare the patients for induction of labour, one of the patient's husband stopped me at the exit door and asked why it takes so long for the wife to be in the labour room after delivery, with raised voice and firm tone.
I replied, "Uncle, it was very busy for all of us since 1 am to now, and that is why the transfer of the post delivery mothers to the postnatal ward a bit delayed."
Uncle: "My time is very urgent."
Me: "....." Too tired to explain further so I went back into the labour room and took a look at her wife in the labour room. Good thing was, I have another colleague who helped me with the patients in the antenatal ward. I will only say, different people, different attitude.
That was a roundup for my oncall yesterday. Full of emotions, and sleepless call.
Wednesday, April 5, 2017
Early days
This is the fourth and a half month I am working in O&G department. Great experience.
The scariest thing will be solo call, but thankfully, I have good seniors who are willing to help out during the oncalls. It is difficult to predict how busy is the oncall, because you will never know how many patients are going to come on that day. The call will be even more hectic if the specialist in some district hospital went on leave, basically most of their patients will also be yours!
Honestly, I hate the long working hours. I never thought that my stamina can go up to 24 hours or more without sleep! However, when the adrenaline rush is there, you won't be feeling sleepy, though physically you are already extremely tired.
The only thing that I wish for during my oncall is all the mummies and the babies will be safe and sounds by the end of my oncall. Nothing will be more important than that. Whenever everything goes well, that is a good call. The call will be even better if you get to do some procedures, but above all, still, babies crying vigorously upon delivery is the best.
The scariest thing will be solo call, but thankfully, I have good seniors who are willing to help out during the oncalls. It is difficult to predict how busy is the oncall, because you will never know how many patients are going to come on that day. The call will be even more hectic if the specialist in some district hospital went on leave, basically most of their patients will also be yours!
Honestly, I hate the long working hours. I never thought that my stamina can go up to 24 hours or more without sleep! However, when the adrenaline rush is there, you won't be feeling sleepy, though physically you are already extremely tired.
The only thing that I wish for during my oncall is all the mummies and the babies will be safe and sounds by the end of my oncall. Nothing will be more important than that. Whenever everything goes well, that is a good call. The call will be even better if you get to do some procedures, but above all, still, babies crying vigorously upon delivery is the best.
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Chinese New Year 2016
Day 1 CNY: Go to work with very unwillingness, but once I saw the babies in SCN, I smiled. Received a premature baby, sent to NICU. Quite busy until my friends have to pack some food for me tho I am not the one PM shift on the day. Yeah, that's my first day.
Day 2 CNY: Again, received a baby from OT, I was informed by OnG MO for category 1 caesar. Attended, baby unable to maintain the saturation under room air, CPAP was given and again the baby ended up in NICU. Again, that is my second day. Staff nurse in the NICU warned me, Dr. Evelyn, I don't want to see you bringing another baby into NICU tomorrow morning, don't be so "huat" although it is CNY season. Smiled at them. Babies are so determined and so strong to stay alive. Good job babies!
Day 3 CNY: Today I had my PM shift, attended 2 OT cases at my near-to-end of my shift. Things go well, thank you Lord.
Day 4 CNY: My ON (On Night) shift today. There's a baby LO and there's acute patients in ICU. My MOs worked hard. Many babies in postnatal ward, and attended two cases at around 5, thankful to God, I was so touched when I saw the staff nurse in postnatal ward helped me to take all the serum bilirubin! Feeling relieved, I ran to OT to attend a category 2 caesar.
Day 5 CNY: Postcall, extremely sleepy. I felt asleep while driving and .... I had an accident. The accident itself is scary, but the people involved are even more scary. Thank you Lord for sparing my life. All I have now is yours. Totally yours!
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